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This is an exciting time in the history of our planet to be alive. Evolution is changing the culture for those who have been historically downtrodden like never before. Domination and violence are regularly challenged as being unacceptable and those without voice are receiving advocacy and support from many. Peace is prayed for around the world. Times, they are a'changing, my friend. In many wonderful ways. We see and feel it every day in the subculture of the horseworld. Yet my heart remains heavy that those of us who love and live with horses may still be engaging in the very behaviors that are the source of the problems of what we think of as good/bad, right/wrong and all judgements.
It is likely that individuals who get into politics do so because of a sincere personal desire to affect a system that is not working, and again to protect the downtrodden and secure equal rights for all. Yet often those same individuals go down a path of learning to point a finger at everyone else who does not agree and it becomes a divisive battle. Certainly the party system in America has affected the United States to become divided states. Expressions like "United we stand, divided we fall" and "Remember when You point a finger at someone else that three are pointing back to You!" come to mind here.
What is the under all of this emotion? While I completely agree that being in close company with horses requires us to see them as magnificent sentient beings with feelings and emotions similar to humans as fellow mammals, I do think we need to be extra careful not to circle up our wagons on our high horses and judge others harshly. Otherwise, we are impediments to the peace and connection we are seeking. With horses and all species.
Blatant abuse must be challenged and exposed for what it is, but how would Jesus do that? Or Ghandi? Or Martin Luther King? These outspoken yet softspoken leaders preached peace through non-violence. And judgement, however insidious, is a form of violence that easily escalates through justification. Putting others down will never elevate us or contribute to peace.
Temple Grandin, a remarkable women with a PhD in Animal Science and a person with characteristics on the spectrum of Autism, is a controversial figure due to the fact that her life's work and passion has been to design humane slaughterhouses for animals. Taken out of context, one could easliy judge her harshly for contributing to the suffering of animals. When in fact, her intention is that the reverse be true. She has made a decision to accept the fact that humans, in her lifetime on this planet, are raising animals for consumption and that it is a huge industry . So since she feels, literally as animals do and 'thinks in pictures' in the present moment, she feels that the very least we can do for them is to help them feel calm as they live their lives in feedlots until the day they become meat. She accomplished this by spending time with cattle, literally on her hands and knees and living in their skin to find ways to know what would best help them connect with their own kind in the most harmonious way possible under those conditions.
Some would say that she is part of the problem and that it will never be acceptable to dominate animals and eat meat. That is true for many, but the film created to tell her life story, called Temple Grandin, Thinking In Pictures does, in my opinion, a brilliant job of showing the story in its enormous complexity. It is incredibly well cast and filmed and does a better job presenting the picture of the dysfunctional human animal condition than what a group of angry confrontational, finger pointing picketers could accomplish. I would venture to say that this film allows the individual to see a bigger picture and make a decision for themselves. Hopefully many people will decide to no longer eat meat and have a desire to connect more deeply with animals after viewing this . But it will be that their hearts have been touched, not because of militant zealous posturing.
What if we did not 'throw the baby out with the bathwater?' What if we saw the inherent value and light in every soul? On my personal journey with horses, I have taken some missteps. For me on occasions I have given my own power to trust my inner guidance away to others who had more expertise with horses. I have regrets. I admit my mistakes and ask my horses for forgiveness. But I also know that from every experience, that I have learned incredibly valuable lessons, some from others who have a very different viewpoint from my own.
Technology, for example. It confuses and confounds me and I have not been naturally good at understanding it. There are many horrific abuses of what computers offer--crimes against others, etc. But focusing on the negative aspects creates an impediment to improving my skills and appreciating what I have learned and how it has connected me with kindred spirits all around the world. I can rail against it or use it for good.
Here is a wonderful illustration of how a computer can help me get to the heart of how I am feeling. Because idiomatic expressions and language--verbal and non-verbal--fascinates Me, I looked up the origins of "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" since it seems to be an expression that can help me to put into words how I feel about this issue of divisiveness in the horse community. There at the click of a computer mouse to a search engine is a long list of sites to provide information. We can relate to the baby as the value--the good--the right--and the bathwater as lacking in value--bad--wrong. This all or none thinking/judging is at the crux of what prevents us from finding peace within and peace on the planet. We cannot have inclusiveness and exclusiveness simultaneously as we cannot love and be in fear at the same time.
Years ago when my only son Evan was a babe, I had a terrible conflict with his father, my husband Gary. It hurt. It stung. It felt like a chasm dividing us. While Evan was napping, I did some laundry and remember crying angry and confused tears while I was sorting clothes. Suddenly I pulled a little single stocking out of the pile, a hand- me- down from a friend for Evan. It was a very ordinary white crew sock, with a green stripe, not the type of socks that he had in his drawers, which were either solids or patterns. I stood transfixed and held the tiny foot shaped object in my hand and was overwhelmed by feelings of love for my precious child. Knowing he was asleep in the next room, I felt deeply of his complete innocence. He was an empty vessel, deserving of my love. We had no baggage, no betrayals between us. Instead we shared the most deeply healing intimacy that I had ever experienced.
I laid the little sock down and looked for its mate. And as I sorted through the pile, the next piece I pulled out was an adult sized sock that was indentical except bigger. It was a white crew sock with a green stripe. Again I felt overwhelmed with emotion, and through tears, realized I had never really viewed Gary as a precious innocent babe. Instead of working to resolve a conflict, I allowed my heart to judge and claim the right to feel wronged. What was even more amazing is that Gary never wore this kind of stocking and I had no idea where it came from. The fact that God could use socks with green stripes to speak to me seemed like an amazing way for me to find a different persective. I remember this as vividly as if it happened today and it is an illustration that peace must start within each of us. If we cannot be at peace in our own hearts, we cannot find it in other relationships.
To learn to not throw the baby out with the bathwater. To learn to love my son and my husband and myself where we are at any moment. When Evan woke up, I felt radiant and an hour before, my heart was heavy with grief and all that had changed was my persective. The conflict we could deal with over time and a mutual commitment. I gave Evan a symbolic bath in the kitchen sink, something I had always wanted to do and his jubilant smile mirrored my mood and heart. We celebrated my epiphany as Evan reached down to help me pull the plug out from the sink and watch the water go down the drain, allowing me to let go of those heavy feelings in a whoosh.
When I read the search engine offerings for this expression, it said that it derived from a German proverb in 1512 , and there were a number of citations for its use over the centuries. One that truly caught my attention was from an article about arbitration in the United States by David Sherwyn, Bruce Tracey and Zeo Eigen called: Saving the Baby, Tossing Out the Bath Water and Constructing a New Sink In The Process. As horsepeople who feel like connecting deeply with horses, is this not what our hearts really desire? Do we not want to save the horse, toss out the domination and violence and build a new culture of the horse/human relationship as one of mutual love and harmony? I believe with my whole heart that we do.
And I think that the very best way we can do that is to learn to see the light in everyone and work on our own hearts and consiousness rather than finding fault with others. It is a delicate balance, I realize, and one we will continue over a lifetime. But we can make a shift, and think of the little white sock with the green stripe and remember that we were once that tiny and innocent with our little foot fit in it.
Like people in glass houses who should not throw stones, let us always remember that there is no mortal alive who does not leave a ring when departing the bath.
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