October 18, 2009my beloved Jimmy (Five Sails)chose to join up with his Creator leaving me, to run with others of his kind, wild and free up in the sky. On October 17th, I arrived to visit him my car filled with special senior feed to see him through the winter. Jimmy had already decided that he was choosing to depart this world with no appetite for any of the food I offered. This was also the last time I was greeted by his soft nicker. I knew after some examination that all I needed to do was to have a vet come in to assist in helping him cross over to the other side. Prior to the vet’s arrival we had a place in mind to lay Jimmy down to rest; what would have surprised many but not us, knowing Jimmy for the horse he was, found his own way to this place, leading us down the hillside as we followed behind. When the vet arrived he asked if I wanted to be there when he went down and then asked a second time just before he made the injection. I could not imagine to not be there as I had stood by him every time he ever needed me and likewise. Jimmy was a complete gentleman and remained so up until his last breath. He transitioned easily.
As I reflect back now, I know that Jimmy had been expressley talking to me and he began to teach me new things until there was no more for me to learn from him. He was delighted to be so loved by me. I was never privledged to have a property where I could care for him daily as I would have loved to but I always did my best by him though, and he knew my intentions were for his highest good each and every day of our near 19 years together. If there was a last message that he would want to share with us he would only remind us that he and all others or his kind chose to partner with us as they have. He hopes very much we will continue to strive to provide our horses with a balance of care that will keep us co-habitating happily together. We have many different breeds of horses as we have people and as many different equine disciplines as we have felt the need to create for our entertainment, business and pleasure. I do believe that if a horse could truly deliver a message to us (and I do) that we remember that they care for us very much once tamed and gentled to our touch. To conclude on this message I can only remark on the amazing people within this industry that are out there excited to learn of new ways to be with their horses. How fortunate we are to have the teachers, trainers and coaches out there today that are helping us to better understand how to relate and understand our horses through non-invasive care and handling. In these changing times for both our horses and ourselves I could not have asked for a more significant teaching before his departure. The following morning after he was put down a beautiful rainbow embraced the sky, overlooking his view where he chose to depart. It had not rained nor did it rain on this day.
I never considered Jimmy to play a full role inVFTHuntil this dayhowever if it had not been for him, this project never would have come about. I never realized at the time when I first got him that Jimmy himself was a rescued horse from the race track; he had poor hoof quality and would not stay sound. Not a very promising career. But he is the reason all of this came about. I will never forget the last rides that Jimmy took me on this past September. From the flying gallop barefooted up Duck Range Road to the mountain trails where he jumped every tree and log that crossed our path that came down due to the lightening storms, I will never forget. You carried me boldly until your last step Jimmy, you never ceased to amaze me...
I look back now and feel like I have awakened from a dream; was this real as I gaze around at my extensive library I have developed on equine care and rehab over the course of the past 10 years? I know today that it is all very real; he came here to be a teacher for me. I also know it to be very real on the many occasions where I felt his presence with just an energy, with profound insights as to the next step in life I was to take. One of these being that the young Clydesdale/TB Colt I met last winter that was another of our wanted unwanted horses was just biding his time waiting for me, with the approval of Jimmy of course.
I always knew that the day would come that I would have to deal with the loss of this beautiful horse if his day came before mine. I could never spend much time in this thought though as I was challenged on how to handle it. Several years ago I heard in a song sung by Faith Hill, Your Still Here, these very meaningful lyrics “And I woke up wondering what was real, is it what you see and touch or what you feel”. I know today that what is true most certainly is what you feel. Whether it be the miles that have ever separated us or as it is now, the clouds in the sky…he is still here.
You will always be like you have always been my dear Jimmy, tucked deep within my heart
Please click below to view the music video Your Still Here.
To read about some of the teachings and learnings Jimmy inspired I invite you to read
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
And I knew I couldn't be but my heart believed
Oh it seems like something everyday
How could you be so far away
When you're still here
When I need you you're not hard to find
You're still here
I can see you in my baby's eyes (Mischief's Eyes!) And I laugh and cry
You're still here
Had a dream last night
That you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in the painted sky
And I woke up wondering what was real
Is it what you see and touch or what you feel
Cause you're still here
Oh you're everywhere we've ever been
You're still here
I heard you in a stranger's laugh
And I hunger on to hear your laugh again
Just once again
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun
then you turned away
The following You-Tube video was sent in by a viewer of the VFTH site when they read of Jimmy's passing. This person certainly picked up on how I have felt from time to time without him here (physically) in my presence.